PROCESSION
The Monarch proceeded to Westminster Abbey in a golden, horse-drawn carriage. He was most proud of his glass slippers. Critics said it was a flagrent display of oppulence before the hungry, unwashed masses—what's more, The King failed to tip the carriage driver. At Westminster Abbey, the congregation was overwhelmed by devotion, reverence, and the presence of the supreme. The mood was then ruined when the King arrived.
CEREMONY
Faith leaders joined heads of state to launch the proceedings. Following a speech mixup, one prime minister was seen laying hands on the legs of an invalid. First, the Monarch's robes of state were taken away and he was shielded from public view. Conveniences were delivered behind the screen, including a shower cap, rubber duck, and beard trimmer, and finally the King emerged. He was then crowned by a dirty rascal. The Prince said he would give life and limb, possibly even his own, for his father. The King was thus proclaimed the "undoubted King". During the ceremony, a bishop declared, "I'm not so sure." The monarchy was unhappy with a "doubted king" and the bishop was hanged for treason. Back at the palace the Monarch et al. stood on the balcony and waved. "I feel like Juliet," cried the Queen. The King grunted, "I should be so lucky."
RESPONSE
Older generations enjoyed the excitement—most do not expect to see another coronation, and neither does the King. One inebriated monarchist declared, "God shave the King," his words perhaps slurred, or his allegience extending to the Monarch's personal hygiene. The King himself was notably delighted by the ceremony. Wiping a tear, he was heard to say, "Wait until I tell mother."
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