The Polka Dot Gypsies are Catholics, but seldom attend church, preferring instead to find Jesus from home. Some critics argue home churching is a front for more nefarious practices, like underground casinos and bridge clubs, which were famously used to beat the Golden Gate in San Francisco. When a Polka Dot Gypsie is dying, a huge candle is lit to guide them to the next world. When they pass, the candle is blown out, and a Polka Dot nun makes a wish. One time, days after the ceremony, a sizeable Congo chief came and carried the candle blower away, showing that sometimes wishes do come true. She was heard to say, from aloft the chieftain's shoulder, "Thank you God for the bounty I am about to receive," tossing her nun's garb to the ground. For centuries the Polka Dot Gypsies wandered aimlessly, following imperialist powers, repairing pots and kettles and knitting patches for the heads of the wounded. Eventually the restless tribe moved south carrying thousands of dollars in defective hats, which they sold for passage to the Congo. The heart wants what it wants.
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